If you’ve ever had the pleasure of venturing to the upper Delaware River, you have already met people like Tommy DeVito before.
The New York Giants quarterback is now technically an NFL player but is otherwise no different from any rote Italian man living on the edge of the unofficial capital of Western culture. For one, DeVito lives with his parents at the age of 25 (which is completely fine. America might be the only country in the world with the expectation that children must flee the nest as soon as possible). The objectionable part here is that his mother apparently still makes his bed. Again, he has been on our beloved blue marble of life for a quarter-century. He should be capable of cleaning up after himself and keeping his personal space and race car bed tidy. But I digress.
Dearest readers, it gets worse. According to a “Giants Spotlight” courtesy of New York Daily News columnist Pat Leonard, DeVito assuredly is not more than meets the eye. In fact, once you read about his interests and “taste” in culture, he sounds precisely like a young Italian man with a warped sense of reality and an eternal Peter Pan Syndrome.
Giants QB Tommy DeVito’s favorite food, 3 dinner guests and favorite movies are everything you’d hope they would be
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I don’t even know where to begin here. So, I’ll touch on a few essential points. (I am intentionally ignoring his dream dinner guests. That should be a statement in itself.)
DeVito says his talent is “making art.” Mhmm. Good talk. What does art qualify as here? Random stick-figure doodles in his notebook? A blurry photograph of the George Washington Bridge at night on an iPhone 7? If that weren’t enough, Devito’s favorite cinematic choices seem to indicate he enjoys living life in the fast lane (i.e., driving an old Chevy Impala with an unnecessary spoiler around his childhood neighborhood).
Also, DeVito says his nickname is “TD,” as you can see on the brazen necklace in the featured image of this article. I know guys like Devito. He absolutely gave that nickname to himself (an apparent play on his initials and the word “touchdown”) and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Note: TD has a 65.4 passer rating in three games with the Giants and is actively “helping” position them for the No. 1 overall pick in the 2024 NFL draft.
Congratulations, Giants fans. You now know more about the third-string quarterback who will soon deliver a promising signal-caller you’ll actually be emotionally invested in. I’m sure you were all waiting with bated breath.