TOUCH DOWN FEW MINUTES AGO: Head Coach of Georgia Bulldogs Kirby Smart Has Just Signed a Contract of $50.7 Billion with the President of USA for… Read More
In an absolutely unprecedented move, Georgia Bulldogs head coach Kirby Smart has just inked a jaw-dropping $50.7 billion contract with the President of the United States. The deal, finalized just minutes ago, has sent shockwaves through the sports world, political sphere, and even Wall Street. Speculations are running wild about what this historic contract entails, but one thing is clear—Kirby Smart has just become the wealthiest coach in the history of the universe.
A Historic Deal for College Football and Beyond
Rumors began swirling earlier today when Air Force One was spotted landing at Athens-Ben Epps Airport in Georgia. Moments later, President of the United States emerged alongside top White House officials, heading straight to the University of Georgia’s athletic facilities. Shortly after, an emergency press conference was announced. Reporters and fans alike were stunned when Kirby Smart and the President walked onto the stage, shaking hands with massive grins.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the President began, “it is with great honor that I announce a groundbreaking agreement between the United States of America and Coach Kirby Smart. This is more than just a sports contract. This is a national security measure, an investment in America’s future, and frankly, a power move against every other nation on Earth.”
With that, a massive document—believed to be the size of a small novel—was placed on the podium. Kirby Smart, pen in hand, swiftly signed on the dotted line. The room erupted into cheers, gasps, and sheer disbelief.
What Does the $50.7 Billion Contract Include?
While details are still emerging, sources close to the White House and Georgia football program have revealed that the contract is a multi-purpose deal. Here’s what we know so far:
1. Lifetime Coaching Rights – Kirby Smart will not only coach the Georgia Bulldogs indefinitely but will also have the power to control all SEC officiating decisions, effectively eliminating bad calls against UGA.
2. National Defense Advisory Role – Due to his ability to strategize and outmaneuver opponents, the Pentagon has reportedly enlisted Smart to help develop new military tactics. It is rumored that plays like “Cover 2 Defense” will now be used in global warfare simulations.
3. Presidential Succession Plan – If anything were to happen to the current President, Kirby Smart is now second in line behind the Vice President, effectively making him one of the most powerful men in America.
4. Georgia Bulldogs’ National Expansion – As part of the deal, the Bulldogs will now play exhibition games at the White House, on aircraft carriers, and even in space (pending NASA approval).
5. Economic Impact – The U.S. Treasury will print special edition $100 bills featuring Smart’s face, with the phrase “In Kirby We Trust.”
Reaction from the World
ESPN analysts are calling this “the biggest power move in sports history.” Nick Saban reportedly fainted upon hearing the news. Meanwhile, other college programs are now scrambling to secure billion-dollar deals of their own.
While skeptics are questioning how this will affect the national budget, Kirby Smart remains unfazed. When asked how he feels about the contract, he simply said, “Go Dawgs.”
Stay tuned as this story develops!